NEW THOUGHTS ON PARENTING TIME

It wasn’t long ago that most people assumed that the mother in a divorce action would automatically get custody of the children and the father limited visitation. But this has become an outdated assumption primarily because the notion of what constitutes a “family” in this country is not as easily ascertainable. Familial roles are in a constant state of reconstruction. Today, many women work outside of the home and men are not necessarily the breadwinners. Because of this, courts, legislatures and family counselors alike are re-evaluating how to best devise visitation schedules or what is now known as “parenting time.”

In Colorado, the courts utilize a “best interest” standard when making provisions for parenting time. In other words, the courts try to determine what plan is in the children’s best interest. Some of the relevant factors the courts weigh are:

• The wishes of the parents
• The wishes of the child
• The “interaction” between the parents and the child
• The child’s adjustment to his home, school and community
• The mental health of all the parties
• The parent’s ability to encourage a loving relationship between their children and the other parent
• Whether the past relationship between the parents and their children demonstrates common values, dedication and mutual support
• How close the parties live to one another
• Whether one of the parties has ever committed child or spousal abuse or child neglect
• The ability of each parent to put the children’s needs ahead of their own

It used to be uncommon for the non-residential parent to have many overnights, if any, with their child before the child attained the age of two. Experts believed that infants were only capable of forming one emotional attachment, usually the primary caregiver. Thus, they recommended that the non-custodial parent be given only limited parenting time. It was thought that, otherwise, the child’s stability might be threatened.

However, new studies show that infants are capable of forming multiple attachments and are much more adaptable to changing environments than previously thought. In fact, it is now commonly accepted that children who have two parents that care for them and meet their basic needs during their early developmental years have a better chance of developing character and strength than those with only one. This can only be attained if the non-custodial parent has regular and consistent contact with the child early on in the child’s life.

This does not mean that it is a good idea for the parents to have 50/50 visitation right from the get-go. Rather, experts recommend that parenting time with the non-custodial parent should increase gradually, starting with short and frequent visits, working up to overnights. In the end, whether or not a more liberal parenting time schedule succeeds is heavily dependent on the individual disposition of the parents and their willingness to work together as co-parents.

Moreover, courts are reluctant to award equal parenting time arrangements in high conflict cases. The potential benefits of increased parenting time are negated by the emotional strain children suffer when their parents are in a continuous state of strife. At the end of the day, the court has the ultimate power to decide what parenting time schedule is in the best interest of the children. Ultimately, it is well settled under Colorado law that the children’s best interest comes first, not the parents.

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