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This month romantic hopes and expectations peak, for Valentine's Day is upon us. Singles hope to find, or expect to solidify, that special relationship with Mr./Ms. Right. Couples expect to enhance their union through gifts and expressions of affection. Many times it works out, many times not. Often the difference is whether or not our hopes and expectations are met.

Unmet expectations and false assumptions are frequently responsible for so many of the difficulties singles and couples face. Successfully managing one's expectations is an important life skill. It can mean the difference between happiness and disappointment. In early February, it can make the difference between a happy or disappointing Valentine's Day.

While romantic surprises add spice to a relationship, expecting them or their measure can often result in disappointment. One way attached singles and couples can mitigate the possibility of disappointment is to plan something together. Talk about Valentine's Day and what you'd both like to do to celebrate it...or not. Getting "on the same page" early is an easy way to make the day/evening an enjoyable one for both of you. In other words, communicate!

As the saying goes, when we assume, it makes an ass out of u and me. The lesson: never assume. Always confirm with the other party what the understandings are. The more definitive you are about what is understood, the less chance for error and disappointment.

We're not all in romantic relationships all the time

For unattached singles, communicate your romantic hopes to a trusted confidant. By doing so, you'll have a sounding board off of which to bounce your feelings. A good friend will help you calibrate your hopes and expectations within a reasonable range.

And remember, not being in a romantic relationship right now is not the end of the world. Try not to buy into the Valentine's Day hoopla. Everyone else is not happy. They are not all gorgeous and having a wonderful time; and you're certainly not the only person out there who's not in a relationship at the moment.

Take the long view. Pressing to make a relationship happen will likely only scare off a potential partner. Desperation is not attractive. Try to relax and enjoy your "singleness." You may long for it again some day.

For those recently going through a breakup, divorce or death, Valentine's Day can be particularly challenging.
Stay away from you "critics," family and friends who seem to enjoy meddling in your life. Here are some tips:

• Stay away from your "critics," family and friends who seem to enjoy meddling in your life.
• Remember it wasn't great all the time…there were bad times, too.
• Be kind to yourself. Eat right, exercise, take it easy, concentrate on managing your stress.
• There are other types of wonderful relationships that aren't romantic. Embrace them.

If you don't communicate, how can you expect to get what you want?

There's an old movie entitled, "Just Tell Me What You Want!" It's story revolves around the frustration a man feels for wanting to please his lady, but not knowing how to do so because he cannot decipher her desires. She's not expressing them. It's something of a one-joke film because the remedy is simple and easy: communication. So too in most other relationship difficulties.

Aristotle held that the prime goal of communication is persuasion. We communicate to influence, to affect with intent. Do yourself and your partner a favor by communicating your affections and intentions more. Inspire romance. Silence is not always golden.

Finally, Valentine's Day is a day for giving your love to another. Concentrate less on your expectation and more on enjoying the thrill of communicating how you care for someone else. The opportunity may not always be there.